Newlywed Focus
“If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty lain on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married."
Deuteronomy 24:5
THE FIRST YEAR of marriage is foundational for newlyweds. Our attitudes, actions, and habits define our marriage. If we start out with the habit of seeking to understand the other and quickly applying forgiveness when misunderstandings arise, chances are we will continue with this pattern. Love learns to forgive and start fresh.
Why not take the first year of marriage and really get to know one another? Limit your outside activities to church and close friends. Spend your time as a serious student of one another and what God’s Word teaches about marriage.
Furthermore, make sure the first year you thoroughly leave your father and mother and cleave to one another. Talk with your husband first - not your mom - about how he has disappointed you. Talk with your wife first - not your dad - about how she has let you down. Learn to work through conflict. What are other helpful habits to develop year one?
First of all, pray together and attend Bible study together. Develop the discipline of a daily time with God by reading His Word and praying. Learn how to love God more than you love your spouse.
Secondly, enjoy each other sexually. Romance one another. Become comfortable with your own body and the body of your mate. Discover what is pleasing and pleasant to one another, and then serve each other selflessly. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wfie” (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). Unselfishness in marriage facilitates sexual fulfillment.
Thirdly, take the time to listen and talk. Have focused moments daily to share your day Men, genuinely listen and ask, “What is she really saying?” Most of the time she just wants to be heard and held. Men, do not immediately go into fix-it mode!
Lastly, have a financial game plan. Agree on a budget, and stick to it. Live within your means. Avoid debt, tithe to your church, save ten percent, and live on the rest. Otherwise you will never have enough, and you will live in perpetual frustration. Wise money management makes a marriage secure and satisfied.
Above all, focus on the Lord and your marriage throughout your marital relationship. Over time, the results will compound like invested money. You will be astounded at the depth and breadth of what God does through two surrendered souls!
What are the Lord’s priorities for our marriage? How can we develop good habits?